The greatest advantage of playing together with parents and children is the shared time spent together, and this is the most valuable. As for disadvantages, I would mention the possible negative emotions that may arise during the game if the adult cannot control their emotions.
Playing together can serve as a way to build a friendly connection with the child. It is important for children to feel needed, heard, to be of interest, and to have common topics for discussion. Through playing, one can observe, listen to their child, get to know them better, understand their desires, interests, what fascinates them, what they love, and what is unpleasant to them.
How to understand that the game is turning into addiction, and how to protect the child from it?
You can understand it based on the following criteria:
- Skipping school classes due to playing computer games at home;
- Sitting near the computer or phone during nighttime;
- Associating oneself with the characters from computer games;
- Lack of other interests besides computer games;
- Preferring computer games over socializing with peers;
- Eating while playing on a gadget;
- If the total time spent on games exceeds the time spent on walks, communication with parents and peers, and other hobbies;
- If your child can’t imagine what to do when the gadget is broken;
- Spending all the money on games;
- Talking about the virtual world being better and more interesting;
- Conflicts with parents and attempts to manipulate in response to the prohibition of spending time on the computer or phone.
I want to note that some points, in the current conditions of quarantine, may actually contribute to socialization, and this should be distinguished.
Should rules for such games be established, and how can these rules be set so that they are not perceived negatively, making the child want to break them?
For each age group, there are age-appropriate norms for spending time with computer technology. As in any upbringing, love and boundaries are present. The boundaries must be clear and understandable for the child set by the parents.
To avoid a strong desire to disobey, I recommend making agreements with teenagers. You can jointly set time limits and household rules regarding the use of gadgets. The child should be actively involved in the discussion. Phrases like “I said so,” coming from adults, are perceived as resistance and a desire to do the opposite at this age.
It’s essential to remember that online games do not pause, and understanding that when you call or demand something “right now” from the child, don’t expect an immediate response because they will choose the online game, as it is a group process and belonging to a group. Ask when they can finish the current game and do what you asked. This will help avoid many misunderstandings.
How to prevent the positive aspects of gaming from turning into negatives?
To prevent the positive aspects of gaming from turning negative, it’s essential to show more interest in your child and spend time together. By doing so, the child will feel less lonely and won’t have the desire to escape into the virtual world because they feel unneeded or unimportant in the “real world.” When a person’s basic needs are satisfied, provided by family or surrogate figures, gaming becomes a recreational activity, a way to socialize with peers, rather than an escape from unbearable existence.
Recommendations for both parents and children to play safely and not cross the line, ensuring a desire to return to reality:
- Adults should monitor their behavior and stop themselves if uncontrolled aggression arises due to unhealthy competition (creating a sense of equality in the game, rather than one being superior to the other).
- Show interest in the child’s thoughts and ask for their advice during the game (helps the child feel important and needed).
- Allow the child to win if it is essential for them at that stage (boosts the child’s self-esteem).
- Choose a game based on the child’s preference and let them teach you how to play (allows the child to feel significant).
Following these recommendations will not only make parents friendly but also become a friend and psychologist for the child. Psychological closeness between parents and children helps protect children, especially in adolescence, from various psychological difficulties.